So it has definitely been a while since I haven't written down on the good old blog! Definitely my New Years resolution will be to write in it more. I'm sorry my first post in a while is something so serious, or not really an update on our lives, but this is my venting place and this is something I wish to vent about.
So I swear all I see lately on FB are all these pictures with quotes like "Support Phil Roberston" and "It's None of My Business How People Live Their Lives", but my favorite right now is the picture of just a quote that says "My parents spanked me as a child.... as a result I now suffer from a psychological condition known as 'Respect for Others'. Simply peachy right? So funny!
Now before I start my rant I want it clear that I'm not necessarily against spanking. I'm not over radical about how spanking has psychological effects. I know that it's "just a funny picture", but since I feel like I have been seeing this picture every day for the past week, I want to take it literally for a minute and I want to take the opportunity to voice my opinion about it.
First of all, I want to state that spanking doesn't not, in fact, cause a psychological condition known as respect for others. Now now remember what I said! I'm not a radical, but it simply doesn't!
So you guys must be thinking "Jacey! You are not a parent yet! You have no idea the struggles and realities of raising a child. You have no idea, you might just one day spank your child! How could you even have an opinion yet?" That is SO true! I have zero personal experience! I have not had to be up for hours at night cuddling a colicky baby. I have not had the pleasure of my child throwing a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store. I have not had the fear run through my veins watching my child try to run into the middle of the street. I have not yet experienced the feeling of a child being so naughty that they just need a good spankin' for them to knock it off. I do however take parenting and motherhood very seriously. Those who have known me for a long time know that my dream is to be a mother that our Savior can be proud of. My biggest desire is to send out good men and women into the world who I guess as the picture put it "suffer from a psychological condition known as Respect for Others"
So what's my opinion? Spanking your child will not make them respect others, respecting others yourself will help children to respect others.
Now like I said I am not necessarily against it all together, I might pop my kids depending on what exactly they do, but Husband and I have already communicated that spanking will NOT be our primary form of punishment. I don't believe a few times in a childhood will necessarily scar a person for life and I think those people that were only spanked a few times in their own childhood are the ones that share that photo. I do believe however that if you make spanking or screaming your primary form of punishment then you are teaching your child that when someone does something disappointing or wrong that it's Ok to fly off the handle. I never have nor never will see spanking my child as me keeping it together. Most of the times I was spanked myself I did not see it has my parents punishing me for something I did wrong, I saw it as them losing their temper and all I did was lose my temper more.
So if spanking didn't teach me respect for others then what did? Well all those times I saw my father make friendly conversations with strangers, holding doors and smiling, that taught me respect and kindness. All those times my mom came to my school to help with craft projects, that taught me patience and charity. Every time my clutzy self spilled a drink on the carpet and my dad simply said "accidents happen lets go clean it up together", that taught me responsibility and understanding. Any time my parents talked me through my struggles and wrong doings, and then decided on appropriate punishment, that taught me love and respect. Like most children I watched people. I studied examples of all sorts and as I have been growing up I have been able to discern between what I believe is good and bad. I believe children are so smart. They notice everything and just want to be like the big people. They are constantly looking for examples of how the world should act.
Now I'm not here to say that if you lose a your temper a couple of times you're an awful parent (because I know I will). I'm not even here to say that if you don't spank your children then they will all turn out to be perfect little angels (because I know mine won't). I believe that the biggest example in a child's life is their parents. As we grow up we start to realize the things we do now that our parents did in the past. I want to be a mother that uses the Savior as her prime example in my life so that my children can use me as a GOOD example in theirs. I want to be someone that shows respect and charity to strangers and loved ones a like so that my children might someday pick up that disorder known as "Respect for Others".
Well that was a nice little venting sesh! Thanks guys!
Love,
Some Crazy Future Mom.
